Hello to all my youth…
I just visited this wonderful website where you can participate in daily devotions, online! You can read the daily lectionary, and then work through it using a devotion, prayer response and reflection. It really is great! Plus, as much time as you all spend at the computer, you can add this to your favorites and spend some time with God.
Check it out at www.d365.org
Let me know what you think!
Peace…
In understanding teenagers this has to be one of the most important things to remember- the teenage years are the equivalent of constant transition. Teens are not really children, but not yet adults either. Just looking at them can tell you that, right? Some develop much quicker than others, for example- a 12 year old might look like a 16 year old but act like an 11 year old. How many of you have seen that in a youth before? Realize that while that is hard on the parents, it can be just as hard, or harder on the youth. As parents of teenagers it is important to have a better understanding of what changes are taking place throughout their teenage years. Think of it like this: the adolescent years (growing from child to adult) are much like the toddler years (growing from infant to child). There are many ups and downs related to both of these stages and that is what we will look at in this post.
A Change in Their Way of Thinking
Do you remember when your now teenager was a child? I’m sure you do. Remember how hard it was to get them to understand abstract ideas? They took everything you said just as you said it, very literal. As they hit the developmental adolescent stage they begin to think conceptually, using judgement to discern situations. It is common for teenagers to relate entirely different as teenagers than they did as children, why do you think teenagers are so often labelled ‘rebellious’? Teens now understand the parables they have heard for so many years, such as ‘People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.’ This change typically happens between the ages of 11 and 12. Many teens think that they now know everything, which is where so many parent-teen arguments come from. They begin to think more about the values they were taught and possibly reject those values. While this is hard for parents to go through, it is part of growing up and becoming an adult. Do you agree with all of your friends’ values? Probably not.
Does all of this make it any easier when your teen does rebel? Again, probably not, but maybe now you can understand it a bit more.
A Change in Ideals
‘I’m not going to church anymore, I don’t believe in it.’ That is something I have heard parents struggle with often, along with other changes in values. Believe it or not, some of the change in teens ideals is because they want attention, they want to be in control. They also are seeking correct information- be glad when they seek that information from you, even if it starts a fight. I’m sure that is hard to hear, especially from someone who doesn’t have teenagers yet, but it’s true. They want to hear what you think, but aren’t quite ready mentally to have an adult conversation with you about it, so you end up in an argument. Think about this as well- when the teen is in pain (hurting about something-whether it be from school, friends, or life at home) they want to make sure the parents feel that pain as well. Remember that you are the parent and you are in control. Help them to understand what they are going through and be supportive. It will certainly help in the long run.
So, why are we talking about all of this?
This whole post is about transition, right? (Correct answer: yes!) So how does transition play into your teen’s spiritual life? The answer: in so many ways. They will start asking more abstract questions now about God and His call to us as Christians. They will be more curious about their faith and other faiths. Don’t push this transition of a wonderful spiritual journey. Help them by sharing your spiritual journey, your God moments during the week (places you have seen God’s love), and by listening to them as they ask questions. Guide them as the seek the answers to those questions, but do not force the answer. Being a guide means to accompany a person to show points of interest and to explain their meaning or significance. Be a wonderful guide to your youth, and know that I am striving to be a guide for them as well.
Let us end in prayer,
Dear Lord, please help me to be the guide that my youth needs, both in his/her spiritual transition and in all his/her other changes as well. Help me to understand what my youth is thinking and feeling, even when we are fighting over the silliest matters. Help me understand the many influences my youth has, from media to friends to myself. Help me sort through the bad to see the good, help me to see God in my child. All of this I ask in your name, Amen.
So, this past Wednesday we discussed a few issues that teens face- peer pressure, friends and drugs. The last post focused on friends, so for this post we will look at drugs and peer pressure.
I was amazed when every youth in the room raised their hand when I asked this question, “How many of you know someone who has done drugs?”. It just goes to show you that drugs are everywhere, including junior high schools. We talked some about the type of people that use drugs, and we all agreed that even the well-off youth use drugs. In fact, it may be easier for them to get the drugs than it is for others that people tend to look at as typical drug users. That may be a truth, and something that you should think about as you hear your peers talk about drugs.
We also talked about alcohol. I named it as a drug, and some disagreed at first. It is addictive, it can be harmful- to you and to others (think about all the drunk driving accidents that hurt innocent people). Now, here’s a question- how many of you have tried alcohol? My guess is many more of you have tried alcohol than have tried drugs, but maybe not. Here’s another question- why is it that alcohol is more socially accepted than drugs? Isn’t it just as harmful? Do you agree or disagree and why?
Ephesians 5:15 says “Be careful then about how you live, not as unwise people but as wise…” Live as wise people, make wise decisions, think about Christ-always. How easy is that? Maybe it is easier for you to think about how someone you look up to would handle a situation than to think about what Jesus would do. Even better, instead of asking yourself the WWJD, ask yourself What Would Jesus Want Me To Do? I believe that Fr. Alex preached about that in a sermon recently. It is simpler to think of only yourself, but Jesus wants you to think of him and others. So, think about that. In fact, if you find that passage from Ephesians interesting, continue reading on in the fifth chapter as Paul writes about renouncing pagan ways, the evil days, and how to live a Christian life.
Now, though we could never discuss enough the ways and reasons to stay away from drugs, I want to move on to peer pressure. I think that the words ‘peer pressure’ lend themselves to images of a bunch of teens surrounding one teen pressuring them to try drugs, or cheat on a test, etc. I think that peer pressure for today’s teens is much more understated. Peer pressure today exists on levels that some parents just can’t understand. Girls, what if you don’t have the right handbag or shoes- do you feel some pressure from some of your friends? I’m guessing that at least some of you can say yes. Boys, what if you don’t have the coolest car or mp3 player? Do your friends make fun of you?
Think about how peer pressure plays out in your life. Think about how you maybe pressure others. Are things coming to mind? I’m sure that each and every one of you can name sometime you have been pressured and sometime you have pressured others. Now, realize that peer pressure is something that is just there- but you can make a difference. A little bit goes a long way!
I will end this post with a prayer that I hope you can use as you think about all of these things… Dear Lord, as I fill my mind with other things, the room for you grows smaller. Help me to keep you always in my life and think of you as I am faced with hard choices. Help me to realize the thrill of drugs and alcohol is nothing like the love that you provide. Give me the wisdom to realize when I have fallen subject to peer pressure and when I am pressuring others. Watch over me Lord as I live my life and keep you in my heart. In your name we pray, Amen.
First, let me start this by saying that I am sorry I haven’t posted in awhile. With the Youth Ministry Conference this past weekend, things just got crazy. But no worries, I’m gonna make it up to you with two posts over the next few days, so read on…
We had a great talk last night at our teen issues discussion about friends, drugs and peer pressure. I learned a great deal about you feel as teenagers faced with peer pressure, how drugs fell into each person’s life and how you feel like you can be yourself at youth group- no matter what.
But, let’s narrow that down. For this post, let’s focus on the friends issue. I have seen it so much, both in my life and with working with youth- friends can make or break you! Everyone in attendance last night agreed that they had one friend that they could truly be themselves around, no strings attached. 1 Samuel 20:17 (”Jonathan made David swear again by his love for him; for he loved him as he loved his own life.”) shows us that Jonathan and David had that kind of friendship and, most importantly shared a desire for God’s will. How many of you have friends that understand your desire to go to church, youth group, and to follow God’s will? I hope that you all realize that we have a group that can be there for you, especially in this case! Most of the group also agreed that they feel very comfortable at youth group. That was wonderful to hear! I want you all to remember that you can always be yourself around your peers, you can always come to me about anything, and that you have a great group of people to support you, right here at church!
So, I said friends can make you or break you, what do I mean by break you? By that I mean that you can sometimes fall into a rut with certain friends, or even have a separation from some friends. Acts 15:39 says “The disagreement became so sharp that they parted company…” Has that ever happened to you? You know- sometimes it is the hardest thing to do to lose a friend because of different problems, and sometimes it is even harder to keep that friend because you know that you care for them. Even though you care so much for a friend, maybe their actions have hurt you and maybe your actions have hurt them. It is important to remember the good things about your friendship and try to salvage that.
Friends also can help you more than you know. We talked about times when a friend’s opinion outweighs your parents’ opinons. For example (sorry girls, but it’s a great example), you might value your friends opinion on a prom dress more than your mom’s. You also might value a friend’s opinion on someone of the opposite sex that you are interested in because they know that person when your parents might not. Friends are crucial in everyone’s life, but especially during your teenage years. You need those shoulders to cry on, people to rely on and friends who love you- just as you are.
So, what are your thoughts on this? Have you thought of people in particular as you have read this posting? Either people that are your good friends or people that you might have parted ways with for various reasons? Lift those people up in prayer now, thanking God for placing that person in your life and how they impact your life. End your prayer with this… “Lord, my friendships help keep me going. I trust these people with my deepest secrets and fears. Help me to realize that friendship can be risky, but each person is brought into my life for a reason. Help push me to the edge of my comfort zone to help me see people as you see them. In your name we pray…”
Parents- what are your feelings on this? Do you feel as though your child’s friends are good influences, or sometimes not so good? Do you trust that your child can see the good in people, even if you can’t? Also, think about your friends. How crucial are they in your life, especially in times of distress? If friends are that important to you, think about how important friends are to your teenagers. Pray to God to help you keep an open mind when it comes to your child’s friends and that you too can see God’s will in those friends.
“Everyone then who hears these words of mine and acts on them will be like a wise man who built his house on rock. The rain fell, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not act on them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. The rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that housse, and it fell- and great was its fall!” Matthew 7:24-27
So what does this passage mean to you? Why does Jesus call the man a fool? Yes, he built his house on sand, so it did not have a good foundation, but what does that have to do with Jesus saying that “everyone who hears these words of mine and does not act on them will be like a foolish man”? What does Jesus mean by ‘these words of mine’? How does this passage speak to you?
If you know of Jesus, his life, the fact that he died for all of us, why would you not make him a part of your life? Jesus wants all of us to share his word and make others aware of him. Don’t be like the fool; take Jesus’ words and pass them on. Act on them.
So, in honor of April Fool’s Day we looked at a fool in the Bible. Stay tuned to see what I will post next. Please leave comments about this passage and how it spoke to you!
Peace,
Erin
So, after reading many blogs about various youth ministry topics, I decided that St. Paul’s EYC needed their own blog. I think that it is very important for me to keep up with each student and keep each student (and parent) informed of what is going on with our youth group. I hope that this becomes a site you can visit often, commenting on posts and using it as a starting point for discussions and prayers.
Some of you might be wondering, or have even asked me, why we can’t have a mySpace or Facebook account. The answer is simple- some parents don’t allow their youth to have those accounts and I want this to be something that all of our group can share. I also want parents to be able to use this and many parents don’t want anything to do with mySpace or Facebook.
So, leave a comment and keep checking back. I’ll try to post something at least twice a week. You never know what you will find, from devotions to questions to pictures, and you certainly won’t know if you don’t check it out.
Peace,
Erin
